Wetsuit illegal!
 |
Before we lined up, after transition closed.
Me trying to pretend I'm excited to race. |
The morning was cool and clear. The water was 81 degrees! Water temp was big news over the weekend and a lot of new athletes opted to wear wetsuits anyway, but they had to start last. My friend Dawn, total badass and all around hero, was really counting on wearing the wetsuit. She's not a strong swimmer and enjoyed the buoyancy the wetsuit provides. She told me, with complete confidence, that she didn't need the wetsuit; most of her practice swims had been without it anyway. She was going at this with absolutely no fear and I was already doubting myself. We left transition, to line up close to our corrals. Of my teammates, I started last. The first wave started at 7. I didn't start until 8:15. I did not plan to stand around that long. I ate my pre-swim food too soon. And in the chill dawn, my nerves came back three-fold! I was sitting by myself on the curb, when a queasy feeling settled in my stomach. I got up to work out some of the nerves. I watched the guys head to the ramp. I took my flip flops and shirt to bag drop. Then the ladies headed to the ramp. My leg started hurting, my stomach was still rumbling. For the first time in my life, I thought, "you don't have to do this."
WHAT!???!!!???!!
I had wrapped my arms tight around me and not because of the cold, but because of
fear! Drama queen much? Then my group was heading to the ramp and it was too late, too hectic to back out and I was in the water. The warm, surprisingly pleasant waters of the Potomac. The course was the best marked I've ever been on. Every 100 meters a big orange buoy marked down the distance. It should have been an easy swim.
Should've, could've, would've.
I couldn't find the right body position. I had no rhythm and I was drifting way outside the course at the first buoy, before I over-corrected and a kyaker had to bring to attention that I was now inside the buoys at 150. The next 50 meters was a mental nightmare. By the 200 meter buoy I was ready to wave my cap in the air and call it a day.
I was filled with the spirit of quit. Quit is easy. Quit is comfortable. Quit is my enemy. I had to suck up the quit and spit it back into the river and swim. And then things got really hard. At the 400 meter buoy the next wave group, the most competitive group of women, those 30-34's caught up with me and the swim went from a mental challenge to a straight up Royal Rumble.
People were slapping, elbowing, kicking, grabbing, climbing over me instead of swimming over me. I've never had my ankles grabbed a tugged on while swimming. Not a touch, a tug. Every time this happened, I stopped to tread water, regroup, look for open water and start up again. It was too much stopping and treading and restarting. I was tired and hungry and expending energy on going nowhere. I stopped again at the 900 meter buoy and was ready to cry. This was my worst swim ever. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to fight any more. Quit was looking good.
Selfish much?
Why was I thinking of quitting because it was hard? If there is one thing Team In Training has taught me, it's we don't quit. There's no quit in TEAM! I was uncomfortable, not dying. If Anna can fight cancer as a kid, I can finish a swim that hurts my feelings. This race wasn't all about me. Quit had no business on the course. Quit is the Devil. Besides that, I said a prayer and recited Philippians 4:13 over and over, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
See? Easy Peasy.
I finally got mad, mostly at myself, partly at the meanness of the other swimmers. I stopped stopping with every kick, tug, elbow and kept moving. I was getting out of the water and on with the weekend. I never found that sweet swimming spot, but I did make it out of the water. I have never been so happy to on dry land!
Part 1 Before the race Part 3 Ride and Run
No comments:
Post a Comment